Anonymous asked: Why do you call yourself queer when you're so in love with a boy? Queerness isn't a political identity, its a lifestyle. When you walk down the street holding your boyfriend's hand you reap the benefits of a heterosexual couple. No one hates you for loving him. You could get married any second you want & have babies and no one would accuse you of corrupting them.
You said it perfectly - queerness isn’t a political identity, it’s a lifestyle. I still advocate just as much for queer visibility, acceptance, and rights while in this “heterosexual” relationship as I did when I was in a homosexual one. My personal identity hasn’t changed in the least. The gender or sexual identity of my partner does not change how I identify.
I’m aware of the fact that being with a cis-man comes with a lot of assumed heterosexual privilege - but neither of us are heterosexuals. We don’t hold to traditional gender roles within our relationship. As much as is practical, I don’t call him my boyfriend - he is my partner, or my bear. And I don’t do anything with my partner simply because he’s male that I wouldn’t have done with my last partner because she was female. For example - I was never “facebook official” with my ex-girlfriend, because I wasn’t yet out to everyone in my life. I refused my boyfriend’s facebook relationship request on the basis that it would be unfair of me to validate this relationship in a manner different to the ways in which I validated my last one.
Interestingly enough, I do get a lot of hate for loving him - from my supposed “queer community”. People seem to think I pulled a Katy Perry for 3 years of my life, met this dude, and then retreated from being queer. And that obviously isn’t true. I’m still very attracted to women, but I’m also very, very, very monogamous. And the human I love right now happens to come in a queer cis-male package. Neither gender nor sexual identity are important factors when I fall for someone - and THAT is why I identify as queer.
Furthermore, I don’t think anyone within the queer community has the right to judge what “queer” means for another person.
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comeintothelight posted this
